Tomorrow I'm going to the dentist. I'm having two of my top teeth removed. One on each side. There's nothing particularly wrong with these teeth. Despite them both having root treatment, they aren't giving me pain or toothache. But I need to have them removed as part of a procedure.
I've been attending the hospital since last November about my teeth and after a few months worth of shifting the dental appointments and orthodontist appointments, tomorrow has arrived all too soon.
It's been many many years since I've actually had a tooth removed by a dentist. And even then I was put to sleep while they carried out the procedure. I remember i was about four or five years old and still at nursery. My mum dressed me in a little green dress I'd worn to my aunts wedding and I had bunches in my hair. Bunches is what we call ponytails. Bunches.
Anyway, I can't remember much about that dental visit except waking up and going home to get tomato soup. I'm really nervous about tomorrow. I don't think they'll put me to sleep. You have to go to the hospital to get that procedure now, i think. Hopefully I'll have plenty of anaesthetic. I don't think it's that that is bothering me. It's the tugging or noise or the taste of blood. Gah! I don't think i could cope with the tugging. If my head actually was pulled when they're taking them out. I'm hoping it'll be over in a flash, or at least in about ten minutes. I've stocked up on painkillers for afterwards, I'll probably need them.
You might be wondering why I'd put myself through this is they are reasonably healthy teeth. Maybe not. Well I'm having other work done in February. At the hospital. By the orthodontist. I hate to say what it is because it might seem a bit vain but it is something that has bothered me my whole adult life.
If I'm honest, I'm kind of ashamed of it but it would be like if someone thought they had a big nose or tiny boobs and went and got them 'fixed'. Most people who go through those procedures might say those things would give them more confidence. I suppose that's why I'm doing this. I should've done it years ago but my previous dentists were always like 'oh no, you're teeth are fine, let's just whiten them. That'll be £375 please!' and I was like 'no thank you'. But then I got a new dentist about 2 years ago and after a check up he actually sat and asked me about my teeth and if there was anything i didn't like. I took this as my opportunity. I told him and he said he'd refer me to a private orthodontist but it would cost £55 for an initial appointment. I agreed and I headed to that place. £55! It was sore handing that over for what amounted to about 9 minutes of this guy's time. After prodding about my mouth and asking me a few questions he decided the only method to get rid of the thing I didn't like was to have an operation to move my lower jaw forward! I was like 'you gotta be joking mate'! He was dead serious.
It would involve going into my lower gum at the back, breaking my jaw, resetting it and on top of that I'd get teeth out afterwards and then need to wear something else. It would cost about £20k but it'd be done on the NHS. I mean come on... As If I'd waste the NHS money on getting a procedure that frankly is cosmetic. He said he'd refer me to the hospital orthodontic team and I'd have to wait a while on the appointment. I discussed this idea with my mum and we agreed that this way was not an option. No way.
My hospital appointment came through. 5 months to wait. When I attended for that I got a young Irish (kinda hot) orthodontist who was in training. He filled in the forms. Asked me the questions. Suggested the operation. I said under no circumstances. Then he suggested the brace. A brace. A BRACE. I knew that's what would end up happening anyway. He took lots of pictures of my smile, my mouth, my open mouth, my closed mouth, my teeth close up, my upper teeth, my lower teeth and (wait for this) my incompetent lips. I must have looked puzzled. He said don't worry, ignore it, it's technical talk. From what i gather it means that my lips don't meet up exactly when close. But who's does?! After that I joked that he'd better not put those horrid photos all over Facebook. He laughed.
Anyway, the long and the short of it is that I'm having two teeth removed because in a few weeks time I'm having a brace fitted. We're talking full on Ugly Betty style track brace. So please, help a girl out. Don't cross the road if you see me. Don't make fun of me. And most of all, don't give me toffee's.