Few

Few by Jennifer Lee Tucker

Few are the moments that just are
When they sky shimmers through velvet air
When the heart of the universe whispers
And the field sways
When the sun is your soul
And always was
Its warmth on closed eyelids - the deep sleep
You've been missing all your long, short life
And a sigh is a single white cloud
Drifting
Small and sweet.

Dedicated to all those special people in my life. You know who you are - hopefully. 2011 is our year. Believe.

Angela xx

Trust

Trust.
I think I trust too much.
I trust that what other people tell me is true.
I trust and believe what they mean.
Except maybe they don't mean it at all.
Maybe I'm too trusting. Naive
That's what it is. I'm naive.
You know, because i always like to see the good in people, except for those that i can tell within the first 20 seconds of meeting if they're a rat or not. Well that's what i thought, but it seems that rats can hide in every corner.

I see the good in a lot of people. And maybe I then get blinkered to their own selfish ways. The way they use you for what you can give them and then when they find you can't really give them what they want: a boost? a plaything? status? glowing reports? and shit like that cos that's all that matters to these folk, then you get left. Left behind like some lost afterthought in the back of their tiny minds.
In front of camera it'll be lets do this, you're great etc etc behind camera, nothing. Not even a fucking how are you doing?

I believe that I'm a nice person. A good person. A fucking amazing person.
I believe that I try to good with people, all people, until they piss me off, then my defence mechanism will kick in and that usually means I won't bother talking to you.
Its my way of dealing with the hurt. The downright fucking gut wrenching anger towards myself for letting myself get too...what's the word?...too.. involved? led up the garden path? let myself be open to friendship?
Whatever. That's how I cope.

They say good things happen to good people. Do you really believe that?
I'm not sure I do anymore because for me and the good people i know, we never seem to have many good things happen to us.
It's always the chancers, the all talk no fucking brains folk, or as someone so eloquently put it to me the other week, all gloss and no substance. I'd rather have all the substance than the gloss.

Some folk just need to remember that you can't play about with folks feelings and folks good nature. You can't pick them up, play around and pretend to be their friend then drop them like a hot tattie when the next new plaything comes along. Some folk should just check themselves before they wreck themselves (I like that saying, I use it often).

Angela xx

Thursday Three

Today's Thursday Three topic is favourtie foods/meals as suggested by Laura (@Loo_Rah).

Numbero uno

Well, anyone who knows me well will know that my mum's homemade Macaroni cheese is my favourite food. And you 'll also know that I have it every week on the same day. A Tuesday. I never used to eat it until i was a teenager. Pasta was foreign to me until then but i was hooked as soon as i tasted it. I never get the same plate twice as when she makes it she doesn't measure anything. But my favouritest is when there's plenty of the cheese sauce left onthe bottom of my plate that i can soak up with a slice of bread (or two). It's really yummy.

Numero dos

Sausage on a fork. This you might think of as strange but whenever i have a sausage i eat it from the end of a fork like a lollipop. I don';t eat sausages that often but if i'm at a barbecue or something i'll have a sausage on a fork. It all stems back to when i was a kid and we used to go to Chapel on a Sunday. We'd head back to my Granda's for breakfast and he'd have the full bacon, eggs, sausages, mushrooms, fried tomatoes on the go for my mum and auntie's but i'd just opt for a sausage on a fork. Good times and great memories.


Numero tres

Saturday night dinner is awesome. I've never ever been a fun of Sunday dinners. I can't be doing with roasts all the time and i've recently gone off chicken but one thing i will never tire of is Saturday night dinner. I have the same thing every week and i love it. A nice piece of steak, homecooked chips, sweetcorn and a scrumptious mushroom and onion sauce. Love it. Except, I go to spin on a Saturday night (mostly!) and its ready as soon as i get home at 7.30pm. I think i was eating all of this too soon after spin and it was giving me stomach pains. So a little break between is called for.

Angela xx