You know that feeling when you get punched in the face with a brick? Yes? well that's what has hit me the past two days. Not a brick really. Not punched in the face with one. But a little confidence dip that feels like a punch in the face with a brick. Although I wouldn't actually know that feeling since i've never been hit in the face with a brick but i was hit in the forehead with a hockey stick once, when I was 10, still got that scar and i know that hurt!
Anyway. Yes. I'm having a mini dip in my somewhat already low confidence. Resultant from a few things really. No one thing to pinpoint it down to other than 'that' feeling. You all know it, right? that feeling. When things just seemingly aren't going your way. Perhaps they are but you just can't see it. You overthink everything, ten times. You listen to every word with the kind of intesinty you'd normally listen to a muffled warbled train announcement just before your train is due, hoping it's not been cancelled - again!
So the question is how to get over this mini dip in the confidence rollercoaster? How do you do it? I see and hear people, and outwardly they appear to be the most confident thing in the world. But what's going on behind the eyes? Are they really so self assured? Maybe they are. But secretly I think we can all suffer from little dips. It can take just one thing to trigger it off. Usually the silliest little thing. But getting yourself pointing in the right direction can take longer than the dip.
I think it was my hair that set it off. I got it cut and coloured last week and it's too dark. Too dark for me anyway. Mahogany! I asked for my own hair colour and I got MAHOGANY!!!!..... I'm no more a natural mahongay haired person than a blonde! Although the cut is great and my curls are sitting so perfectly and bouncy and lovely, even if i do say so myself. I love my hair - not this colour though. But I do :)
Sometimes you just got to have a word with yourself. Pretend. Pretend to be a little box of fireworks. But is that being true to yourself....
Someone, help me get my confidence of 2 weeks ago back. Or just tell me your stories of little dips and your fabulous selves! I love to hear peoples stories.
Courage doesn't always roar
Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says
I'll try again tomorrow
-Mary Ann Radmacher
Big love,
Angela x
.
Bowery Mural
Some of us just do our best to bury our doubts. Sure they're waiting to come back and bite me, but so long as I can stay one step ahead, I'm prepared to take that risk!
ReplyDeleteI think most of the time we are all faking it (unless we have a glass of wine in our hands!) so confidence dips are common. Mine come with facing someone much more popular/outgoing than me. I retreat shyly into the corner and blame it on confidence. It isn't confidence, its fear of being confident!
ReplyDeleteHope you feel better soon :)
@Rob you sir have helped me get over that little dip. I am prepared to take that risk too. Soon. Others are usually better at burying their doubts than me. I'm gonna try to knock them on the head though. :)
ReplyDelete@Smidge hey thanks for the comment. I think you're right about the faking it. Well not being fake but just hiding the fact that inside we may be cursed with doubts. I retreat shyly too, more often than not, if i'm in company i don't know. Once i get to know you i'm totally fine though. I think that's why I love Twitter and social media so much because i have met some really wonderful people that i would NEVER go up to and start a conversation with in real life. But now when i meet someone from Twitter I'm still a little quiet but will definitely chat away to them.
And I do feel better actually, thanks.
Thank you lovely people for your comments :)